The path to understanding yourself more is to separate yourself from the image others hold on you.
Break free of this chamber of perception. Find your own identity. You can’t be what you can’t see/feel. Expose yourself to what you want to be, take it seriously. Choose yes or no, make the decision and put in the actions and work. Focus observe then decide.
We put too much weight in the perception of ourselves from the perception of others throughout our lives. Understand that this is only a perception, a belief system, doesn’t mean it’s true. You have the ability to break the chains that bind you to this self identity from the outside. Find who you really are.